Today’s podcast episode is about IBS and the paradox of control. If you have IBS, food can often turn into a very controlling arena. 

Today we’lll determine how controlling you are with food and look into if are you more likely to overcontrol and undereat and not get enough nutrients or are you more likely to just be very unstructured around food, not able to follow a plan.

Today you will learn what it is you believe is best for you and your IBS and if that is really true or not. Depending on your control tendency/personality, you should pursue different ways of being to compensate for your tendency because both tendencies can keep you stuck. 

Find the full transcript for this episode and other resources at healingheribs.com/54.

Group Program Announcement

Before we get fully into today’s episode I wanted to briefly let you all know that I will be running a Group Program for healing IBS this Spring of 2026, probably starting at the beginning of April. 

This program is called the Healing Her IBS Collective, it’s a group program where we meet once a week for ten weeks and work specifically on many of the most important areas for healing IBS. 

If you are interested in joining, you can find more information at my website www.healingheribs.com or you can email me at erin@nullhealingheribs.com. I will hold space for one full scholarship and 1-2 spots for half price scholarships, so if you have financial need email me and we can discuss how to make the program work for you. 

If you feel inspired or called to do this work, I invite you to allow that desire and curiosity to be there as a truly positive impulse in your life and potentially life changing. 

The Over Controler Archetpye 

When it comes to food I want you to consider yourself and where you fit within these two frameworks. Remember as you go through these checklists that I am not suggesting either one of these ways of being is right or wrong. 

The importance of knowing yourself when you have IBS can create a great freedom for you, especially if you can see yourself truly without judgement and from that place make decisions that are in your best interest. 

You might be an OVER-CONTROLLER if:

• You eat “safe,” “clean,” or “perfect”
  
• You undereat or avoid many foods
• You are afraid to try new foods or reintroduce foods
  
• You don’t trust hunger cues
  
• You’re doing everything “right”… but still struggling
• Unconciously this controlling provides you a sense of safety

The Under Controller 

Under controlling your food is another way of being that I deeply relate to and that makes a lot of sense for many women, both practically and emotionally. 

You might be an UNDER-CONTROLLER if:

• You know what could help, but can’t stick to it
  
• You eat inconsistently or emotionally
  
• You start plans and abandon them
  
• Food feels chaotic and stressful
   

How Healing IBS Actually Works

Food is a deep part of who we are as human beings. It is literally the fuel that keeps our bodies and our minds going. 

Not only is it that essential fuel, one of the main reasons we go to work is to “bring home the bacon”—becuase without food we cease to be, but it is also representative of so many things that have really not much to do with essential fuel and energy. 

What we eat, when we eat, how much we eat also has to do with our culture, our families of origin, traditions and celebrations. 

You were modeled to as we grew up about food —maybe you were given special treats when you were upset or sad that your caregivers intended as something to help you feel better. 

Maybe you grew up with food insecurity and had to worry about not getting enough food to eat, or perhaps you saw your caregivers eating ice cream every night after dinner. 

Maybe your parents were always working and never had time to cook at home, and your were undernourished as a child. 

Maybe you grew up like me in the 90s with the message that women should ideally be very thin, but you had a big butt and a lot of muscle and you were an athlete and had a healthy body while the culture around you told you you were too big and therefore not feminine and attractive and you have had to wrestle with that paradox every day of your life. 

There are so many variations of possibilities and it’s really key for you to look back at how you grew up with food and dissect how that modeled relationship has informed your own deep rooted feelings about food. 

When I work with women in my 1-1 and group programs, this is the work that I help them do —which can be too hard to do alone. Often you can’t see yourself fully and you need a professional to work through the past  and help you uncover the connections to how you are living today.

You need someone to help guide you not because of any character flaw, but because you have blindspots that are keeping you stuck and you may not even be aware of what those are. 

Over controllers often need to heal through softening and under controllers usually heal through more gentle structure and routine. I can help you with both sides of these coins and help you identify where you fall on this spectrum and how it might be holding you back from getting better. 

Thank you for listening today.